The 9 Nine Nights of 9
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
1. Chapter 1

**The 9 Nine Nights of 9**

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Author's Note: 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Disclaimer:999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

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Once upon a nine, there were nine trillion, nine hundred ninety nine billion, nine hundred ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine number nines all dining at the fine ninety ninth restaurant on the border of Mario's house.

Let's just say, the forty nine going to fifty year old, Italian American, pudgy, worldwide beloved red-capped adventurous plumber wasn't pleased.

"Those damn nines!" Mario called out with anger as he folded his fists, "How dare they park their nines on my ninety nine acres of pure, green, simple farmland! I'm going to show them all! I will! I will!" He then ran towards the restaurant and began burning the entire building down, much to the dismay of the nines, who all burned immediately. Suddenly, however, Mario stopped as he turned around, dropping his jaw to see the most beautiful thing he has had ever seen.

It had the most beautiful hair, the nine most shining glades of bread. It also had a hint of spaghetti. It was so beautiful, it could burn any mortal eyes... except for that of Mario. A figure so great, that it defied all laws of gravity...

...A yellow-colored nine.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh sweet nine flavors of the ninety nine nights!" Mario exclaimed as his pingas got a **PRRRRROMOTION**, howling like mad as his mouth was watering with Italian flavored saliva.

The nine giggled as she immediately rammed herself into Mario, causing the red-capped plumber to roll down the hill backwards as he crashed into several nine-shaped dominos, setting off the chain that eventually destroyed all the fields in Hyrule.

"You're mine," The Nine said in the sexiest tone of voice ever.

Mario simply chuckled as he shook his head, looking at the nine with a devious grin. "No. You're nine."


	3. Chapter 3

Mario and the Nine started circling each other as the clear blue skies gave ways for the stormy, dark clouds, the lightning zapping as thunder boomed, the rain pouring faster than honey in a maple tree. Mario screamed loudly for no reason as he then started chucking his red hot fireballs at the nine, of which she reflected back at him. Mario then ran behind several green-colored warp pipe as the nine fired off nine tiny sparks at him, causing the warp pipes to burst into flames.

"Mamma mia!" Mario cried out in shock as he looked around, spotting the nine figure popping around in several spots at the same time. "Stop-a moving-a!" He attempted to punch at the figure, but the nine tackled him, wounding his legs considerably.


	4. Chapter 4

"My legs! Help!" Mario cried as he tried to get the nine off of him, but was unsuccessful. Suddenly, as all hope seemed lost, The Heavy Weapons Guy came to the rescue, tossing his sandvich at the figure nine.

"Aghdsjfbs! Gross!" The nine flipped out as she fled the scene, running away back to her evil lair as the rain started pouring like hail.

Mario covered his red cap as he followed the red Heavy Weapons Guy, who immediately stopped to investigate Mario. Without warning, he pulled out nine blasters, pointing all of them at Mario.

"What the heck!?" Exclaimed Mario in a shocked tone as he sweated nervously, taking a few steps back.

The Heavy Weapons Guy approached slowly, speaking in his obviously apparent Russian accent, "Are you Red, or Blu...?"


	5. Chapter 5

Mario blinked as he took off his red cap asnd scratched his head with confusion. "Wha? Red, blu, what are you talking about?"

The Heavy Weapons Guy was in awe as he slapped his forehead. "Come on, man! Don't you even know your own team? Are you red, or blue?" He pointed at Mario's red shirt, and then at his blue overalls. "You're wearing both red and blu! Who's side are you on?"

Just as Mario was about to question just ridiculous ponders, he was knocked out from the back of the head by nine steel pullets. The Heavy Weapons Guy looked up, and screamed in horror as the shooter was... the yellowish nine figure from earlier.

"Just because you have your crummy sandwiches, doesn't mean I can't fight back," She giggled as she fired nine more steel pullets at the Heavy Weapons Guy, killing him as cartoonish red blood bursted out within mere seconds.

Mario groaned as he slowly picked himself up, turning around to be face to face with the nine figure. His moustache dropped as he let out a meep gulp, "Uh oh."


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile, in the merry old land of Oz... I mean, Hyrule...

"Mah Boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!" The King of Hyrule, Harkinian, repeated for the ninth billionth time, annoying the nearby residents who were trying to sleep.

Zelda, the daughter and Princess of the kingdom, pretty much had enough hearing her father repeating the words "MAH BOI" and "four", to the point that she walked up to Harkinian and punched her own father in the stomach. "Stop talking to yourself, father."

"_Ooooooohh_!" Harkinian groaned as he fell to the floor, twitching in pain as he raised his right fist and called out, "Get Gwonam, on the double, stat! And bring _**dinner**_."

Just as Gwonam the Arab Wizard from Koradie arrived to heal Harkinian, the entire castle began shaking. Within nine seconds, the entire place was flooded with nines, yellowish, reddish, bluish, greenish, purplish, you name it. The nines were so overcrowding that they literally exploded the castle, sending everyone in different directions.

"**SQUADALAH, I'M _BLASTING OFF AGAIN...!_**" Gwonam shrieked, as he disappeared in a star twinkle within the clear blue sky (that was due to the budget of the animation).

Zelda screamed as she was heading towards the western direction, not knowing that she would end up playing a vital role in the storyline...

And as for Harkinian... we'll get to his fate later.


	7. Chapter 7

Mario moaned in pain as he was tied to a wooden chair with rope by the demonic yellowish nine, who cackled so evilly that she even scared the frightening and creepy paintings that were hung in the walls of the haunted mansion. The dead bodies of the Scouts, Denomans, and Medics made Mario panicked, as he even quickly glanced to his right to see a Blue spy hanged over a pit infested with flesh-eating rats.

"...Mamma mia!" He exclaimed as he was shocked beyond all believe. "What kind of nightmarish horror is this?"

The nine turned to look down at Mario, grinning evilly. "You'll see..." She began to chuckle again as she brought out a double bladed knife, pointing it at Mario.

Mario screamed as he tried to struggle, only for Zelda to land right on him, knocking back the nine.

"...Zelda!?" Mario exclaimed as he was freed by Zelda.

"No time to talk, Mario, we gotta hurry!" Zelda interrupted as she grabbed Mario's arm, and the two heroes ran out of the haunted mansion, being chased by the evil nine, who now had a saw and a DINNER BLASTER on her hands.


	8. Chapter 8

King Harkinian moaned in pain. He looked around, wondering where he was, when he quickly gasped.

"I'm... in a Garbage Disposal!" He exclaimed, as he screamed, pounding the large metallic doors as the crushers slowly began to crunch into each other to mesh together the garbage.

* * *

Mario and Zelda both woke up in the Hyrule Castle, seeing Gwonam healing their wounds. The two were just as confused as the premises sounded.

"Uhh, Gwonam, care to explain how you're healing us?" Zelda asked as she was confused beyond belief.

Gwonam merely shrugged as he then pointed at the brutaled nine and her mortally wounded allies. "Well, I just happen to have gotten back my senses and decided to save you two since I saw you flying on the way."

Mario quickly leapt up, standing on his two feet. "Wait a minute! You know what this calls for!" He proclaimed, pointing his right index finger at the ceiling.

Zelda and Gwonam stared blankly at Mario.

"...A picnic!" He proclaimed as he licked his lips together, grinning with the thought of such.

"...Oh Mario..." Zelda giggled, as she, Mario, and Gwonam all had a heart laugh as they settled for a picnic shortly afterwards.

* * *

And that was the ninth trillion, nine hundred ninety nine billion, nine hundred ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety ninth time that Mario and Zelda encountered the nine 9s of evil.

And poor King Harkinian was crushed by the Garbage Disposal.

**R.I.P. King Harkinian of Hyrule.**

**_TH_**_NIN_**_E_**_ NIN_**_END_**


	9. Chapter 9

Did I mention that I'm absolutely lazy? Well, here's some Morshu for you guys who actually read this horror:

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